While a real anniversary blog will occur tomorrow, it's been just about a year since I got together with my wondrous girlfriend. Helena Harper, the girl I got with about a year ago, is the most incredible person I have ever met in my entire life. She has pulled me through so much, nearly every obstacle that I faced she helped me out on. October of last year might as well have been the nail in the coffin for me if she weren't there to help tear all the pain away. Guilt, trauma I faced before I met her and still held onto she helped me release. I feel cleansed as a person, and a much more honest person in general.
I don't think she understands how much I love her. I've never been able to do my share; she's made so much art and content for me and the most I can do is show my never-ending support via text and through projects. Helena is much better of a person than she thinks she is; I find her to be smart, witty and creative. I didn't think I'd ever find love until I met her. Magnificent as her name, she stood by me for everything that I had to fight through. I am comfortable with myself -- for now -- and as happy as I can be. Even during the times where I believe she's in the wrong, I support her so much. For someone who gets so much crap, I hope she's happy to have someone like me close to her.
She melts my heart. Every single day since we got together, my thoughts were centered on Helena. Even before then, since about mid-2015, I'd always been wanting to talk to her but was scared by her because she used to be really intimidating to me. I loved -- and still love -- her projects, regardless of what they were. Fantendo Sports Resort I credit for bringing me closer to her, Fighters Club Extraordinaire I credit for managing to be totally honest with my closer friends, and Vermilion Gladiators I credit for allowing us to connect more. It wasn't just her that made me fall in love with her, it was her projects, each conveying a special meaning to me.
Why else do you think I made a game I put my soul into, like Toroko Warriors?
It's been over a year since I came out to her and became a woman. Everything -- to me -- has changed for the better. Hopefully I've become less clingy, more independent, and a hell of a lot stronger for a fighter. The lessons she taught me helped me so much as a person, I don't feel like I'm overly needy or being not honest with myself. She was the one woman who helped me push through this emotional war full of worry and anxiety, and I can't thank her enough for that. Now I try to fight like her. If she can pull through her disturbingly tough college, then I can pull through my depression. I know I can -- and she helped strengthen my confidence.
Special thanks to Pablo, Dreb, Drack, Cylenk, and Pyro for making life significantly easier for me too.
It's hard to really put it all into words Helena but the tl;dr is that I love you very very very much and that you have my endless seas of support for the rest of your life. Even if we end up losing contact in the future, you've left permanent but well-meaning marks on me, so I will never forget you.
Born to lose, raised with blues
Took on bruise after bruise
Wasn't sure if I'd make it through
Then in came beautiful you
Pulled me up from hollow hell
Put me under a special spell
Patched up my battle scars
Helped me reach for the stars
When I grow up, I'll want to find good memories. This art I will treasure for a long time.