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How do Thanos, Freddy Fazbear, or Batman show their undying love?
Tagline

Dating Simulator #69 is an umbrella dating simulator created for the first Lapis Weekly Challenge Rebooted.

Plot

Y'know what? This game has no plot whatsoever. Have you ever loaded up the Sims and been told to stop Team Woohoo from stealing Jessica's watermelon collection? No. You're just thrown into a town and forced to make these characters fuck in bed. Everyone's pansexsual. And why? Because screw it. I'm fucking done.

Characters

Note: A potential lover in italics indicates a soulmate

Character Description Potential Lovers
RecklessWiiStartUpGuy
Reckless Guy From Wii Game Start-Up Screen
This guy has a reckless personality and no sense of personal space. He's prone to breaking stuff, especially vases. Never give him a weapon, especially not a WiiMote. Semi-Transparent Luigi
Hurt Girl From Wii Game Start-Up Screen
Crimson
Reckless Girl From Wii Game Start-Up Screen
Hurt Girl From Wii Game Start-Up Screen
This girl is very timid and gets emotional easily. She's often abused by her brother, Reckless Guy From Wii Game Start-Up Screen. Yet she can be shipped with him. Incest for the wincest. Reckless Guy From Wii Game Start-Up Screen
Wanda Maximoff
Scarlet Witch
Wanda Maximoff
Wanda Maximoff, also known as the Scarlet Witch, is a girl gifted with neurokinetic abilities. In other words, she's got weird powers. Steve Rogers
Hurt Girl From Wii Game Start-Up Screen
Prince William
CapAmericaLapis5
Steve Rogers
A hottie. A hunk. A god among gods. These all describe Captain America. He's cheerful and an absolute dork who doesn't approve of swearing. Wanda Maximoff
Bucky Barnes
Leopold Fitz
Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier
Bucky Barnes
Bucky Barnes is Steve Rogers' old friend, turned killing machine by HYDRA. He's sweet and kind and if you ship him with anyone who isn't Steve Rogers I will rip your throat out. Steve Rogers
Crimson
Katniss Transparent
Katniss Everdeen
Katniss is a serious girl who has murdered several people oh god she's a monster. Except not really because she was kinda forced to do it. Leopold Fitz
Pearl
Leopold Fitz
Leopold Fitz
Oh god he's adorable look at him he's a clutz and he's the cutest thing ever and he stutters and is all sciencey and i just wanna cuddle him. Jemma Simmons
Steve Rogers
Katniss Everdeen
Jemma Simmons
Jemma Simmons
Jemma Simmons is a SHIELD agent. Except not really??? She's working for SHIELD except it's not SHIELD??? I don't know this whole real SHIELD arc is confusing. Leopold Fitz
Roserade
Semi-Transparent Luigi
Ethan
Crimson
Crimson is a guy who has an obsession with Roserade, too bad it'll never work out. What? What's this? They're soulmates are you fucking kidding me. Roserade
Bucky Barnes
Reckless Guy From Wii Game Start Up Screen
Tony Stark
Roserade
Roserade
This flower hentai girl gardener thing is a Grass/Poison type Pokémon with whom Crimson is obsessed. I mean, it's pretty weird for your stalker to be your soulmate. Crimson
Jemma Simmons
Vileplume
Kam
Kam is asexual. He cannot have sex. It is impossible. Why is he here. He doesn't even know what sex is. So pure, so innocent. N/A
TonyStark
Tony Stark
A billionaire playboy. Because we need so much more of these. I'd say he's not the best in bed because of that metal thing in his chest. What? No I haven't fucked him. ...Not yet... Prince William
Crimson
Prince William
Prince William
Prince William to the rescue. Yeah okay these descriptions used to be about the actual characters but now they're just jokes. He's a prince. That is all. Tony Stark
Wanda Maximoff
Zario
Zario
Zario is an all-powerful being who can create rabid cows from thin air. He is beautiful. Just look into those green eyes. His purple skin sure is a panty dropper. Too bad he's narcissexual; only attracted to himself. Himself
Semi-transparent Luigi from tumblr
Semi-Transparent Luigi
Semi-Transparent Luigi is exactly what his name implies, a semi-transparent Luigi! He's a terrible liar, because you can see right through him!!! Ha ha! Ha! Ha ha ha! Ha. Reckless Guy From Wii Game Start-Up Screen
Jemma Simmons
Pearl transparent
Pearl
Pearl isn't heterosexual. She's heteROSExual. Pearl is gay for Rose Quartz. I mean seriously gay for her. The gayest. Too bad she can only fuck Katniss. But hey, a rose by any other name is just as sweet. Eh? Eh? I guess this is another reason for Katniss to hate roses. Katniss Everdeen

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