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Cheesy Assault is a three dimensional title developed for the The V² platform by TimeStrike. It stars Chezen in a simple quest to save humanity from the hands of gerbils, as awkward as that seems. With the usage of blood, minor swearing, and dark themes, the game was rated T by the ESRB and was never released in Asia.

Cheesy Assault is a strategy game whereas you have to conquer the several lands of Zonar and take down the main antagonist "Tythene" and his highest serving commanders.

Plot

Introduction

A long time ago, there were peace between humans and gerbils. However, during an experiment with a scientist only known as Dr. Ine, he turned a gerbil large to test if eating habits change for larger creatures. Taking advantage of the situation, the gerbil swiped the scientist away, then stormed down the lab's wall, escaping. The gerbil managed to convince many others that humans were evil and had the powers to change physical appearance and body structure. Taking note of this, several gerbils took residence in the houses of other humans, awaiting scientists to use them in experiments. After at least four and a half years, there were many different gerbils that have become powerful and destructive, but without humanity's knowledge. However, it was one gerbil that separated itself from all the rest...

This gerbil's name was Tythene. He was an enlarged gerbil that gained access to human speech via many seemingly harmless experiments. He eventually trapped a trio of scientists into telling him about what great secrets lied beyond just enlarging and empowering. To his great amusement, he got what he wanted. Tythene set up a meeting between himself and the other gerbils, and they started planning on what they were going to do with the humans. With plans of war in mind, they set out and immediately attacked everyone and everything, giving no mercy. Those that were left were sent into outer space to go and perish.

However, Chezen was born in a rocket about to launch by his mother as a last ditch effort to preserve humanity. Chezen was pushed off of the rocket into the ground, barely alive. The observing gerbils decided to take the baby in and raise it to be one of mass strength and power, underestimating the size and abilities of a human's brain. However, they decided to punish the baby by mutating it, and if they killed it they wouldn't worry about it. They dipped half of Chezen's body into their least favorite food (and primary weakness), cheese, and were excited by the result: Chezen came out with a cheese coated side, the other side being completely human. To prevent the cheese from going everywhere, they coated Chezen's right in metallic armor to preserve his cheese, then equipped him with an arm cannon. Chezen worked for the gerbils for plenty of years, until one day...

...Whereas he betrayed the gerbils suddenly upon reading human history. Despite how badly they depicted the humans in the writings they've scratched out on the walls, Chezen came to realize that he was a human...and not a gerbil race's slave. He also acknowledged what the humans have done and how cheaply the gerbils have taken over humanity in general. Angered by this, he blasted cheese at everyone in the room he was currently in, then followed up by escaping his home, taking shelter in an outhouse. He looked at himself, and knew that he was possibly the only human left by this point, so he may as well make the best of it. Despite the absence of humans, he was not the only human in the ruins of Zonar...there were still some left. Hardly any, but he was not alone.

Chezen spent a small while escaping the gerbils that destroyed his home world, then barged into what seemed like an abandoned building. He raced down the halls, went down two floors into a basement, then watched as the lights around himself "automatically" turned on. Inside this room, there were two other humans, later identified as Jessica and Romeo. Chezen and his later allies just stared at each other in silence. Then they sat down and began making rather hopeless plans to fight the gerbils and perhaps save the human race. They knew it was going to be a long and enduring battle, but they decided that they better make good time out of what they have.

Conclusion

Chezen, alongside Jessica and Romeo, barge in Tythene's lair, disrupting his plans alongside his major officer named Elvis. Smiling, he pushes his officer aside and welcomes Chezen. He takes the hybrid into a large room, revealing many cheese related experiments, noting that Chezen was unable to be replaced by any of these. He then followed up with...

Chezen. You are destroying our race, and we cannot combat you. Why not just join us? You're trying to destroy us for no reason, and it would be so much better having both sides as one.
Tythene

Chezen immediately shook his head to indicate "no", knowing that it is possible for him to save the human race as long as Jessica is alive and well. The lord of them all has one more plan up his sleeve, and he tricks Chezen into thinking that he's committing suicide by jumping into a giant pot of macaroni and cheese. Confused, Chezen stares at the pot, then is taken by surprise as a giant, cheesy Tythene jumps out, fueled by the cheese. He swipes at Chezen, then gives him one more chance to join them. With a shake of his head, he is swiped at again, almost killing him. Jessica then stands in front of Chezen and attempts placing the beast aside. She fails and she is instantly picked up in the beast's mouth. With no other options, Chezen started running away...

In the meanwhile, back at the ranc- er Regal Ruin, the average gerbils were roaming around aimlessly. One of them felt a huge rumble underground, then looked around itself. Suddenly, cheese poured out of the ground in a huge flash and it started flooding the area slowly. Slowly but surely cheese starts going up in numbers, stripping the lands clear of their cheese to build up chaos.

Back at the now almost destroyed laboratory, Chezen was cornered by the beast when the cheese came in, forcing the beast to drop his mouth in horror. As so, Jessica was released, who was picked up by Chezen, forcing him to exit with the girl and Romeo who was waiting by the room's entrance, and the three escaped from the quickly flooding lab. They went to the top of the city nearby, climbing up the Last Tower. Chezen, Jessica and Romeo overlooked the horizon. There was nothing but cheese and ruins now.

Gameplay

Cheesy Assault requires quick reflexes and mastery of Chezen's controls. In every level, you start from a teleportation device and are required to shoot up a certain percentage of the level with cheese and kill a large percentage of the gerbils (often around 60 to 80 percent). However, each level is designed differently and objectives are often added to make your task a bit more challenging.

In gameplay, you have what's called an inventory. You can collect several objects in a level and use them differently to fix whatever sticky situation you happen to be in. Objects you can expect to collect are ropes, keys, and different weapons to replace the Cheddar Claws for a while.

Multiplayer Mode

Cheesy Assault also offers up its own multiplayer mode.  While you can't play as Chezen, you play as humanoids filled with cheese instead.  The game is practically another survival clone - everyone shoots each other with cheese until there's only one standing fighter.  When fights go out too long, gerbils start coming onto the battlefield...average ones at first, but then rather large ones and perhaps a guest appearance from the leader of the gerbils himself!  The gerbils can be disabled in the options menu.

Online multiplayer is also possible, and the player limit goes from four to twelve, allowing for rather insane action.

Characters

CHEZEN
A HYBRID OF HUMAN FLESH AND CHEESE. HE IS ONE OF THE FEW REMAINING SURVIVORS OF ZONAR, A GALAXY IN THE ZAXINIAN LIFTS. HE IS THE MAIN PROTAGONIST OF THIS GAME AND CAN USE CHEESE TO HIS ADVANTAGE. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HIM FOR HIS UNUSUAL TALENTS.
JESSICA
A FRIEND OF CHEZEN WHO MUST BE KEPT ALIVE SO HE CAN HELP HER CONTINUE THE HUMAN RACE. SHE IS RATHER WEAK YET RATHER STRONG EMOTIONALLY.
ROMEO
LITTLE IS KNOWN ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN HE LOVES FAIRY TALES AND THAT HE'S A GOOD MECHANIC.
TYTHENE
A BIG TIME GERBIL WITH A LUSTER TO TAKE OVER ZONAR AND EVENTUALLY THE LIFTS WITH HIS GERBIL EMPIRE. HE IS INTELLIGENT, IS CAPABLE OF HUMAN SPEECH, AND IS ALMOST INVINCIBLE FROM THE BIGGEST GERBIL WEAKNESS KNOWN: CHEESE.

Areas

REGAL RUINS

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DESCRIPTION: An abandoned area that has been noted for its relatively low population of gerbils. It's perfect for any possible surviving human to make plans...unknown to the gerbils' knowledge. You'll be visiting this place a lot, due to the amount of backtracking you'll need to do to get here. Don't worry, as the story progresses, so will the accessibility to this area.

Spike pits are your most seen hazard here. Collecting the flashlight hidden in the level will allow you to light up the darker areas of the Regal Ruins, allowing you to not only see where you're going but the gerbils that might be hiding around in the level.

Your inventory items found here are a flashlight, a rope to gain access to the more lighted high areas of the level, and a gerbil sensor that can be obtained later on by accessing this level after getting at least a three star ranking here and beating Chaotic City.

The boss of this level happens to be a large gerbil with a hard hat. Shoot the edges of the hat with cheese to make the hat easy to slide off, then shoot the hat until it falls off afterwards. Then shoot the gerbil's face several times to defeat it. The gerbil is referred to as General Hardhatted.

Your time limit to kill the specified gerbils and cover the landscape is eight minutes.


LANDSCAPE: Grass
AREA SIZE: Medium
MOST COMMON HAZARD: Spike pits
ENEMIES: 50
BOSSES: 1
LAND TO COVER: 65%
GERBILS TO KILL: 35
RANKINGS:

FIVE STARS: All gerbils dead, 80% of land covered, time usage being five and a half minutes.
FOUR STARS: 45 gerbils dead, 80% of land covered, time usage being six minutes.
THREE STARS: 40 gerbils dead, 75% of land covered, time usage being six and a half minutes.
TWO STARS: 40 gerbils dead, 70% of land covered, time usage being seven minutes.
ONE STAR: 35 gerbils dead, 70% of land covered, time usage being seven minutes.
ZERO STARS: 35 gerbils dead, 65% of land covered, time usage being under eight minutes.


DESERT HIGHWAY

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DESCRIPTION: This blazing highway takes you straight from the Regal Ruins safely. However, the highway is full of burning fires and poses as your first true challenge in this game. It leads to Chaotic City and Pepperjack Factory although the latter is blocked off of access for now.

Spike pits return from the ruins and there are even more of them but they're in plain sight. Fires are the most dangerous bit, as they can start chopping the highway apart, meaning that you shouldn't take long in any given area except the very center of the road itself. Be careful.

Inventory items are not common here, but you will find several ropes to get across huge gaps in the area. Careful though because gerbils will try to gnaw you off if you don't eliminate the creatures first. Also there is a Cheese Launcher hidden in a crate: It is a new weapon. It gives you weaker attacks but they are much more long range.

The boss of this level is a gerbil riding a motorcycle. As if that weren't edgy enough, it's trying to ride away from you. Get on your own motorcycle and try to shoot the beast down. If you shoot him down hard enough, you'll knock him back onto the road. Kill him without any regrets.


LANDSCAPE: Desert / City
AREA SIZE: Large
MOST COMMON HAZARD: Fires
ENEMIES: 300
BOSSES: 1
LAND TO COVER: 80%
GERBILS TO KILL: 250
RANKINGS:

FIVE STARS: All gerbils dead, 95% of land covered, time usage being seven and a quarter minutes.
FOUR STARS: 290 gerbils dead, 92% of land covered, time usage being seven and three quarters minutes.
THREE STARS: 275 gerbils dead, 88% of land covered, time usage being eight minutes.
TWO STARS: 275 gerbils dead, 84% of land covered, time usage being eight and a half minutes.
ONE STAR: 260 gerbils dead, 80% of land covered, time usage being nine quarters minutes.
ZERO STARS: 250 gerbils dead, 80% of land covered, time usage being under eleven minutes.


CHAOTIC CITY

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DESCRIPTION:
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FOUR STARS:
THREE STARS:
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ONE STAR:
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RUSTED LABYRINTH

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DESCRIPTION:
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DARK GROTTO

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DESCRIPTION:
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HYPERSPEED TUNNELS

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DESCRIPTION:
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PEPPERJACK FACTORY

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DESCRIPTION:
LANDSCAPE:
AREA SIZE:
MOST COMMON HAZARD:
ENEMIES:
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LAND TO COVER:
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RANKINGS:

FIVE STARS:
FOUR STARS:
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ZERO STARS:


FLYING FORTRESS

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DESCRIPTION:
LANDSCAPE:
AREA SIZE:
MOST COMMON HAZARD:
ENEMIES:
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FIVE STARS:
FOUR STARS:
THREE STARS:
TWO STARS:
ONE STAR:
ZERO STARS:


Enemies

Average Gerbil

These little twits aren't very strong but are some of the most common enemies on the field.  If they attack Chezen, they can stun him and leave him vulnerable to the bigger gerils who can actually damage him.  Like any gerbil, they're easily stopped with cheese.  Sometimes we wish we can't hit them because they're really adorable but...I guess you gotta do what you gotta do if it means saving yourself.

Bosses

Hardhatted General

This gerbil is known for being huge, and with an attitude problem.  Although with an attitude problem, this coward just sits still most of the time with his hard hat on.  You have to slide off the hat with some nice and delicious~ cheese.  Then you have to shoot his face until his eyeballs bulge and his organs fall out... ... ...sorry.

Inventory Items

  • ROPE: Ropes gotta do what ropes gotta do.  And by that I mean you gotta do what you gotta do with the ropes...and by that I mean you just climb walls and get to higher places with it, or use it to safely descend to lower areas.  Or you can use it as a lasso to bring enemies close or throw them far away.
  • FLASHLIGHT: This rather classy and rare item lights up the dark for you to see better.  It really has no other purpose but fortunately you can adjust this into your metal suit so you can still use weapons and stuff.

Weapons

  • Cheddar Claws: If you know Chezen, then you already know his big meaty cl- er big cheesy claws.  Ha ha.  Anyway these claws are rather nasty in power, as they can shred those annoying gerbils to bits and they can certainly stick them to the ground.  And kill them too.

Reception

Trivia

  • Cheesy Assault was made from the scraps of the Fantendo version of Master Crim, which was deleted.
Click to open Snicks' stuff

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