Dear fans,

Like many of you I was really,really pissed off by what they just did to us. How they treated Vampire Jade was absolutely unforgivable. I thought it was a joke at first, a dream sequence. But no, they actually did it. They actually did THAT to Vampire Jade. I was absolutely outraged.I wanted to go bazerka and kill all the writers.Rip their hearts out and force them to eat it in the name of Vampire Jade. How could they do that? Vampire Jade is one of the most beloved characters of all time. She should NOT be treated like that. I have thus written a story about how they should be treated. A proper example of writing and respecting Vampire Jade!

A little Later, Sakeena was taking a shit.

She was having trouble though.

It felt like days passed and still no sign of release.

"Help..Errrr... ahhhh! Christ! when is this epic poo gonna pass!?" Sakeena exclaimed, Her face wincing with effort.

She made every effort in her little girl body to expel this demon thing from her curvy back side.

By this point Sakeenas poo-tubes were all bent out of shape. It has been a bad day.

Just as Sakeena was going in for another push..

Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open unexpectedly. Yeepers!

"Well hello...Sakeena" a enticing voice gasped from the doorway.

A mysterious figure posed leaning against the door frame. Her deep, sensual voice which Sakeena knew immediately. Her mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from her face and groinal area.

"Quartz... is that you? wha- what are you still doing awake...?"

She appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy shower.

However She couldn't with Sakeena near by....they were like family now.Quartz was like Her aunty.

Any sane person would never allow their own aunty to see them in the nude. Right? RIGHT!!?! SHIT!"

"Oh I felt dirty from masturbating all day...ya ever feel dirty Sakeena?"

"Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO! Never" Sakeena shrieked, She became so immensely worked up he cleaned her colon clear of the demon feces that had been clogging it. His voice also cracked like he was 13 again, but in comparison to the loud flatulence she just unleashed, who cares? Quartz heard though, and giggled like a adorable baby girl laugh. It sent tingles all up Sakeena's spine.

"Oh you've always been the shy one in the family, Sakeena..."

Sakeena was not shy, at all. She defeated Ninja Quartz and blew up Her evil machines for Christ's sake! and now she suddenly found herself speechless. Was She going to see his metaphorical aunty literally naked? Little did he know, that was merely a sprinkle on the banana split of carnal pleasures that was to come.

"..the shy and excitable one." said Quartz finishing the sentence She started earlier.

"Wh-what the..." and before Sakeena could send the third word out of Her mouth..

..Quartz's towel dropped to the floor,setting her breasts free into the mist of the shower.

Sakeena noticed everything on her instantly. Her soft butt,her magically gravity-defying breasts and the giant thingy colored birth mark on her butt, which made Her feel She had one there too.

Still, the sight of her near perfect body caused Sakeena's naughty bits to become very wet. Dripping and squishy like a mighty sea.

"hehe oh my're more impressive than I thought." "uh... ye-yeah, th-thaaanks Quartz, you're cute too." THIS IS SO WRONG! It raced through her head at lightning speed. But the beautiful, wet, soapy body that stood before her spoke otherwise. Her shapely body was everything Sakeena could want in something to wank to. Yet did family like relationship matter?..



Or...did it make it better?

But just as Sakeena was commiting. Commiting to a path that they couldn't go back from.

Agent Unten burst into the toilet!

"What are you too upto?"

"Err..nothing" said Sakeena as she causally slipped her pants back on.

Quartz, who Agent Unten didnt notice, picked up her towel and backed out slowly.


"I was just having a shit...see?" Sakeena gestured to her shit.

"Oh, thats a shit all right! One hell of a shit!

Ok, if your done we better go"

So Sakeena put her other pants on and left. She had a serious case of blue balls, but at least her anus didnt feel so bad now.

As she walked out Quartz whispered one word. A word fall of hope.


Sakeena Giggled.

Fortunately, their traveling companion was as oblivious as ever, and didn't notice.

It was a cold day in Seattle. A storm was coming...

Quartz winked at Sakeena when no one else was looking. "Later" she mouthed at her silently so no one could hear.

Pirate Sakeena was in the shower.

She had just been beaten up badly by some older girls.She rubed her firm, perfectly shaped Santa's little helpers as the water cascaded over her voluptuous frolicking body.The bubbles from the soap breifly obscured the pinicals of them before she rinced it off...the clear water making her pretty skin shiny in the fire-fly lighted nightime air coming from the open window She watched the blood red blood spin down the drain.She stretched upwards, making her C-cup Buds look even bigger. She had long wanted even bigger breasts as she was jealous of Teenage Mutant Ninja Rachel.Secretly though, she was quite attracted to Teenage Mutant Ninja Rachel.

Meanwhile Teenage Mutant Ninja Rachel was walking by Pirate Sakeena house, in Seattle

She saw steam coming from the window, and went over the look...after all, the house could have been on fire!

She looked unto the window. She gazed unto the crystal glass and beholded a wonder of nature

Suddenly, Agent Unten walked in.

As Agent Unten was undressed by the girls, she examined them carefully

"You know, i never noticed how firm and big your breasts are!"

They are like a pair of great big mercurys

"Why dont you feel them" "Can I feel more?" "Only if you let us feel you a bit!", she reached down and grabbed his ferret. "you can pleasure us, while we watched and feel eachover...we need a big strong man like you to forfill us" Teenage Mutant Ninja Rachel started thrusting Agent Unten's ferret back and forward really hard. Before feeding it into her. She quickly got very wet indeed. Her 'wizards sleeves' was as wet as a deep ocean river bed. Agent Unten' thrusted his huge equipment into both of them one at a time, as the girls rubbed eachothers grapefruits softly.

This went on for 4 hours, before the girls got tired.

"thank you"

"Dont mention it"

its an honour to pleasure you h0t girls )

Teenage Mutant Ninja Rachel turned the h0t shower off, and they all walked into the living room.

Agent Unten' put his cloaths on, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Rachel and Pirate Sakeena stayed naked.

"What did you come here for anyway?"

"Oh, yes, i came here to tell you Ninja Quartz has returned, and i need your help to defeat him"

"ok, we will get our cloaths on and follow you on your erotic quest!"

"No time for that!, you will have to stay naked."

"oh, thats ok, gives us more time to admire our hot female bodys"

"yes, I love running around naked, my breasts bounce around in rhythm"

"Wed do anything for you lover boy."

"ok lets go!!!!"




And they left to beging the start of the first chapter in their epic quest. 

But before everyone got themselves ready to go after Ninja Quartz, there was one thing Agent Unten wanted to take care of.

She had to introduce Zombie Strafe to her parents.

Agent Unten had been thinking for it for a longitme. Her parents were the worst. Uppity, pathetic and sexist. But Agent Unten had told them that she finally got engaged and that she would introduce Zombie Strafe to the family before they would make it official

"Uuuuurgh," Agent Unten said while laying on her bed

"I can handle it," Zombie Strafe said while sitting naked next to Agent Unten while stroking his one-eyed wonder weasel.

"You don't know my parents!" Agent Unten said.

"I know, but if they created you, then they can't be that bad," Zombie Strafe spoke wisely.

"I noooooo but it's still...uuuuuurgh."

"We'll just go there and I'll impress them," Zombie Strafe said manly and then boned Agent Unten hard in the python syphon. His finess and strong muscles impressed Agent Unten a lot. She doubted that he could show that to her parents. Then Agent Unten snugged deeper into Zombie Strafe's arms. She felt safe there. Agent Unten knew that whatever would happen, Zombie Strafe would protect her.

The day of the dinner had come. Agent Unten and Zombie Strafe took a helicopter to her parents.

They came into a dining room and the table had already laid.

"Ah, you've finally arrived," Agent Unten's mom said and she looked at Zombie Strafe, "You're late."

"It wasn't her fault," Zombie Strafe said always as protective of Agent Unten as he was. "It was the weather."

"Sure... sure..." Mom said and she went back to the kitchen.

"Wow," Agent Unten said, "she didn't even shake your hands."

"Oh well," Zombie Strafe said manly. Oh gosh, that nonchallant way. Exactly the reason why Agent Unten had falled in love with the man.

Agent Unten was busy swooning over her fiancé when her dad came in.

"Boy," dad said and the stared at Zombie Strafe.

Zombie Strafe shook his hand politely.

"Ah, you're here too," dad said to Agent Unten, "Help your mother out, it's time that the men have a conversation." "uuuuuurgh," Agent Unten said and went into the kitchen.

Then Agent Unten's mother made her do all sorts of annoying useless jobs. After all, as mom said, people like them were inheritly used to these sorts of things.

Then dinner came. Agent Unten was told to take the food in while mom and dad already sat down. Agent Unten wasn't even allowed to see where Zombie Strafe went off to.

Just before she carried in the first plate of food, she felt something weird. Like a crosswire went down her back, tingling all along the way down. Something was off, but Agent Unten was still too annoyed with her parents!

Then Agent Unten carried in the meal. But no one was there. Instead, at the end of the table, Ninja Quartz sat!

Ninja Quartz laughed at her, "My my, that apron looks lovely on you!"

Agent Unten threw down the meal and flexed her muscles. Oh, she had been waiting for this moment. Not only was Ninja Quartz going to feel the fullest extend of Agent Unten's rightious fury, Agent Unten could also unleash her frustration with her parents!

She threw the dish at Ninja Quartz like a disco. But as it hit her archnemesis, it turned out it was a hologram! "If you want to see your parents again," Ninja Quartz said, "come to my Hanger"

Agent Unten felt conflicted. On one hand, Agent Unten hated her parents, on the other, she still needed them for the wedding!

Zombie Strafe came in and said: "We should save your parents."

"But uuuuuuurgh," Agent Unten said.

"No we should. I talked to your dad, and he really does love you."

"Alright. Fine."

Later, Sakeena and Quartz were alone again.

"Its Later" said Quartz, pulling Sakeena towards the bathroom.

"But what about the others?"

"I'll just tell them you are helping me shower. They wont suspect a thing"

"True. They are all idiots"

Then, suddenly, Quartz was naked. Sakeena wondered how She did that. She must have been nearly naked this whole time! The shower turned on...

..Sakeena was already.

Quartz lathered up good and fine. The soap dripped off Her body at a seductively slow pace. Sakeena could not contain the powerful urge of excitement that raced through Her veins.

The alluring look of her nudie comrade became too much for her to fathom and her the pink squirted lube directly onto Sakeena's eye.

There Sakeena sat, Her pink panties pulled quickly down at his ankles, on a toilet full of poop with Her bodly fluids on full display, eyes bulging from Her face.

Quartz giggled as Sakeena's dignity shriveled and died, but Sakeena had always enjoyed that delightful snicker, even after She found out She was Her own flesh and blood.

"Well...wh-what do we do now?" Sakeena said, desperately trying to sound suave.

"It. We do it."


"yes. it"

"we do it?"



...and with that Quartz jumped on Sakeena. What little remained of their clothes plopped of quickly. Some fell in the toilet.

"um... lets g-get you outta my toil-dreams and into my bed." Sakeena stuttered, desperately trying to be slick, yet he knew it was hopeless to be suave on the shitter.

Quartz hopped gleefully out of the shower, the soap continued pouring from Her shapely body.Sakeena stood up from the toilet, Her naughty bits proudly waving about and Her pants still down around Her ankles. She hurried to chase Her shapely body down.

She fell in the door way, tripping over Her pants. She pulled Her face up from the floor and gazed at Quartz, DANCING ON THE KITCHEN TABLE

The night wreaked of eroticisms...and Sakeena could see that it was going to be a all you can eat porkfest. And it was!

Quartz was soon ridding Sakeena like a pogo stick.


"Oh God I'm going to hell!" Sakeena screamed.

Sakeena still had her Hawaiian shirt on and Quartz was dripping soapy water all over the bed.

Her perky breasts jumped around on her chest, like happy children on a moon bounce. UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT!, Sakeena liked it. They were big, beautiful boobies that ached to be sucked on.

Sakeena especially liked that from this angle She could not see the awkward birth mark on Her ass cheek. Which was a relief. Sakeena wanted to be hard and strong where it counts for the person She had always thought of as Her grandma. "Oh Sakeena!" She breathed heavily, deep and cavernous "is what we're doing wrong!?!?"

"OH GOD YES!!" She yelled back at Her naked grandma.

"GOOD! YES! YES! YES! YES MOTHER!!!" Quartz screamed.

When it was over they cleaned themselves, the room and the nearby farmhouse down.

It took awhile - fortunately they finished before any of their friends got back. So their little secret was safe...for now.

And when everyone was ready to go, suddenly, the door opened!

"????!!" questioned Agent Unten exclaimingly.

Because in the doorway, no other than Ninja Quartz stood! And lightning struck int he background and showed villain as a silluette.

But instead Ninja Quartz's usual smirk, there was confusion on her face!

"Who.... who am I?" mutered Ninja Quartz

"Who are you?!" Agent Unten said.

"Who *is* she?!" Pirate Sakeena also said (a/n lol she aint very smart lol).

"Who... who am I?" Ninja Quartz repeated... "I don't know who I am!"

"Zomg, Ninja Quartz lost her memory!" concluded Zombie Strafe smartly.

"Indeed, that is the only logical explanation," said Agent Unten, who of course had thought of it before Zombie Strafe did but was too noble and modest to say so.

"Well, I say we kill her now." said Vampire Aran.

"That is a good idea," said Agent Unten and she reached for her crossbow.

But then all the sudden, they were surrounded! By Ninja Quartz's Loyal followerss!

"Lady"! they said. "We have brought you the Vindozz's voluptuous ass!"

The Vindozz's voluptuous ass! Agent Unten saw it within the hands of the thug. As ever as revoking as it always had been.

If only Agent Unten could get to it!

Then Agent Unten remembered... She had the power of being sad!

Before Ninja Quartz could turn to the loyal followers, Agent Unten lept forward and grabbed the Vindozz's voluptuous ass from security gaurd's hands. Agent Unten then apologised profoundly and patted the golum on their back.

"Ninja Quartz," said Agent Unten, "I'm sorry, but it's better for you never ever to remember who you were." And with Agent Unten's patheticness, she crushed the Vindozz's voluptuous ass.

"Noooooo!" Ninja Quartz said, "Now I will never know who I am!"

"Well, I'm not going to let you get away with all the misery you've caused!" yelled Vampire Aran. He grabbed a pulse pistol and smashed Ninja Quartz's head open.

For a moment, Ninja Quartz looked confused... and the said: "But I... I don't know what I did wrong!"

And she died.

And everyone applauded, even the loyal followers because despite Ninja Quartz having lost her memory, the evil was still inside them. Ready to come out. Even under a different personality. So Vampire Aran really did the right thing. and afterwards they all Boning time together

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