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This is a joke article, possibly made to make fun of your mom and highly aggressive beaver conservatives. Understand that is is not supposed to be taken seriously.
69 Nightrs

69 Nights at Athena's is an incredible fangame based off of the widely acclaimed and successful Five Nights at Freddy's franchise, being released for the Sega Dreamcast, Virtual Boy, and Playstation Vita platforms, making it a surprisingly difficult game to even get to play. As with the previous games, it is a point-and-click game (even though the game relies on your wonky gamepad) and the objective is not to give in to insanity, as that will just end the player's life surprisingly fast. During all 69 nights (including the 13 extra ones), the player will need to guard themselves from the animatronics that may occasionally show up in their room. The game was released as a response to President Donald Trump's presidency, absolutely celebrating it and showering the man of America in wealth.

The game is known for its excessive usage of realism, sarcasm, self-loathing, and extremely high difficulty as well as various cheap deaths, which made the game notable on sites like 4chan and uhh sites that center around tropes for some reason. It can be compared to "Five Nights at Freddy's 2 on steroids", as suggested by an IGN reviewer. It is also known for its 16 dangerous characters, the most out of any FNaF title. In the story, Athena directs her "metal militia" around to kill Donald Trump in his own personal office (despite the game's title), and Trump has to try and survive using offensive tactics and endangering others' lives to protect himself. Each night lasts from 8PM to 6AM, with each of those ten hours lasting about 45 seconds, meaning that each lasts for seven minutes and thirty seconds.

Story

A group of sixteen decided to go out and murder President Donald Trump, and one-by-one he loses his entire cabinet.  Trump is left alone in the White House, and must protect himself from the "Mexicans" trying to raid his office. With every night completed, Trump says something about the country or does something that makes it worse but effectively better for himself. This continues until the last night, where Trump faces off against Pink Gold Silver Heavy Fat Athena, who is even worse than Nightmare from Five Nights at Freddy's 4.

Gameplay

As mentioned, the player will need to survive and hang onto their damn horses because each night lats quite a while and there are 69 of them, 82 counting the extras. The player must remember the following tactics: sit down at the desk on occasion to check on the security cameras to watch out for asses that try to sneak into the office and keep track of where everyone is, go around and listen to the doors for anyone breathing and insult them in the proper fashion, shine a light at the occasional hallucination of Athena, and keep around plenty of Native Americans around to use as meat shields to protect Trump's body. The control stick / D-Pad is used to move the "mouse", and clicking in the correct areas of the screen will move Trump towards a different part of his office.

The building, because video game logic, has limited power, so the doors can't be kept down too long. The doors are typically open because of this; Trump will need to defend himself from intruding monsters by clicking on the lights with two provided buttons, and using two other buttons to close said doors. The more doors that are closed, the more power that is used, so they should only be used in the situations that call for them. Having the lights on for too long will also make the building drain fast of its power. Additionally, as the nights continue, the enemy "Athena" becomes very aggressive, with her sometimes appearing in Trump's office by 4-5PM. If the player checks on their cameras at any point or looks away from her, she will sneak up to him and assassinate him.

Mexicans

  • Athena: Shows up from Night 8 onwards. Randomly appears in the office and must be have a light shone on her several times in order to get her to go away. Reaches max aggressiveness by Night 48.
  • Golden Athena: Original the character. Shows up from Night 20 onwards as an occasional hallucination. Crashes the game within 0.5 seconds if the mask is not immediately put on. Hardest by Night 69.
  • Indigo: Shows up from Night 3 onwards. Comes in through the left door and dances like a chicken. If the Mexican Face Mask is not put on quickly enough, then he will kill Trump. Reachest hardest difficulty by Night 30.
  • Jade: Shows up from Night 5 onwards. Comes in through the right door and gains a Shoop Da Whoop face. If the mask is not put on quick enough, he will FIRE HIS LAZOR. Reaches hardest difficulty by Night 30.
  • My Mom: If my mom comes through the door, Trump better bet his ass that he actually did his chores. If he says he didn't do his chores, my mom will jumpscare her. Reaches hardest level by Night 69. Starts from Night 40.
  • Mexican #1: Sometimes comes in through the door and does mexican stuff. Does no harm.
  • Mexican #2: Sometimes comes in through the door and does mexican stuff. May throw walls.
  • Icing: May come in and shot Trump's face with candy. Starts by Night 20.
  • Indigo 2: Because original.
  • Coldsteel: Comes in the room to act edgy starting by Night 10. He says a lot of mean stuff before jumpscaring Trump by cutting him to death. Hardest by Night 40, but sometimes disappears for no reason only to return by 5PM.
  • James Hetfield: Shows up from Night 15 onwards. Comes in through the left door and plays his political song "Justice for All", starting from the pre-chrous. If he says "justice is gone", he will jumpscare Trump. Hardest by Night 45.
  • Lars Ulrich: Shwos up from Night 15 onwards. Comes in through the right door and plays the "St. Anger" snare. If he reaches the loudest part of the "St. Anger" song, he will jumpscare Trump. Hardest by Night 45.
  • Freddy: Starts moving from the White House Grounds by Night 3. Tries to approach Trump through the right door, can enter if both doors are closed for no damn reason (looking at you, Markiplier!). Reaches max aggressiveness by Night 60.
  • Bonnie: Comes in through the left door starting at Night 1. If he's there for long enough, he will lock both the light and door buttons. He will eventually just burst into the office and kill Trump. Gets to hardest difficulty by Night 55.
  • Chica: Comes in through the right door starting at Night 1. If she's there for long enough, she will lock both the light and door buttons. She will eventually just burst into the office and kill Trump. Gets to hardest difficulty by Night 55. Definitely not copy-pasted.
  • Foxy: Starts in Melania Trump's closet and starts moving at Night 5 if Trump isn't keeping a balance between watching him too much and too little. He will eventually run to Trump's office and try to get him through the left door. Hardest by Night 65.

Creepy Messages

During the game, many spoopy messages will show occasionally. These include "IT'S ME", "SHAMELESS FNAF CLONE", "KILL YOURSELF", "PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE", "YOU'RE JUST AN ORANGE FATASS", "YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO BE TOUCHED", "FREDDY HATES YOU", "YOU'RE A PATHETIC DUMBELL", "YOU'RE NOT OUR PRESIDENT #NOTRUMP", "YOU LOOK FAT AS HELL", "YOU'RE MAKING ME WORRY WITH YOUR BLIND VIEWS", "CHRISTIANS AREN'T EVERYTHING", and "RACIST RACIST RACIST".

Trivia

  • Sometimes videos of Trump will play randomly in his office, often highlighting his contradicting sentences and showcasing images that have much to do with his presidency and its consequences.
  • In this game, you have the option to just resign from presidency as early as Night 1. That's what leads to the happiest ending.
  • This is the only FNaF game that gives you a game over screen for winning and a happy ending for losing. The earlier you lose, the better.

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